Headbutt. What an interesting word ~ if you can call it that. Maybe it’s actually a phrase and not a word. I definitely think it is a wrestling term, as in “so and so just headbutted such and such”. How’s that for using it in a sentence?
Well a couple of days ago I was playing with our dog, Hope, and she headbutted me. I don’t think she did it on purpose ~ I have never actually seen her studying WWF or UFC, so I have to assume it was just a random act of gravity when her very hard head hit me square on the nose.
“Ow! Ow! Ow!” I cried out in pain.
“What happened?” my concerned hubby asked.
“Hope headbutted me,” I said from between my hands that covered my face.
Even though my head was down and I couldn’t actually see him, I am pretty sure there was a smirk and attempt to keep from laughing.
Sensing this, I snapped, “It’s not funny! It really hurts. I think my nose is going to bleed.”
“Let me see it.”
“Is it broken? Do you think that this might be the time I can justify getting my nose done?”
His sympathy quickly dissipated, and I did hear a chuckle, and he said, “I knew you were going to say that!”
Several times over the years my nose has managed to meet some pretty hard heads ~ small children, dogs and the like. And each time I thought, is this the time? But no such luck. Just a momentary smart and I was left with my nose intact.
But this time it hurt really bad. It still hurts. I am thinking something might be deviated and maybe, doc, while you are in there, could you just shave a little, just a little off the top.
This got me thinking about our dissatisfaction with what we have been given. Now I am not talking about people who have serious injuries or missing limbs, there is a real loss in that person’s life and I am not trying to minimize that. But interestingly, many of them seem more together and accepting of their physical conditions than those of us with all of our limbs and noses that work just fine. I think of Nick Vujicic, for example. Just an amazing young man! But I am digressing, back to my nose.
So this started me thinking. As Christians, we believe that God is going to resurrect our bodies one day and they will be perfect; perfect as in having all the proper parts in working order. Which means that since my nose is actually in working order, unless God sees bumps in our noses resulting from Italian origin to be less than “perfect” which really doesn’t seem right to me, then I will have this nose forever. Apparently this is the nose that God wanted me to have. Unless it’s broken, and then I think God would be okay if I got it fixed and switched it up a little.
So why the dissatisfaction? Why do I see different facial features as being superior to the ones I have been given? Well, frankly, every time I turn around in my part of the world I see women who seem to be getting younger instead of older. In magazines and online I see women with an absence of wrinkles where mine are so glaringly obvious. I see tight skin, petite facial features, except for lips which are oversized…and I feel, for some strange reason, that I am supposed to look like that. Why? I don’t have an answer. I don’t like my dissatisfaction ~ I know it’s a bad thing and I am working on it. Maybe this is my way of headbutting God. But there you have it. Honesty. Vulnerability. What do you think? Am I a horrible person for feeling this way? If so, maybe best not to comment…if you think I am overly sensitive about my nose, you could put me over the edge emotionally if you rake me over the coals on this. Or maybe you are someone who struggles along with me. What’s the solution? Because, honestly, I am not sure how many more headbutts I can take.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13